


Let me sleep where I can hear your beating heart

by Aurora_Damigny



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Resurrection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 13:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18917938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurora_Damigny/pseuds/Aurora_Damigny
Summary: "Sansa is twelve the first time she dreams about it.She doesn’t quite understand what happened, but when she wakes up she throws up and bundles up in her blanket and shivers until morning."





	Let me sleep where I can hear your beating heart

Sansa is twelve the first time she dreams about it.

She doesn’t quite understand what happened, but when she wakes up she throws up and bundles up in her blanket and shivers until morning.

She tells her mom she had a nightmare and it seems true until it starts flashing before her eyes in the middle of the day.

Robb comes pick her up at school and doesn’t say anything about her peeing herself in the middle of her english class. He brings her to their home and kisses her forehead and leaves.

As he does, a voice in the back of mind of her mind ‘’Robb is dead he won’t save me, stop hoping you idiot. Why won’t you grow up ?’’

In the middle of the night, she knocks on her brother’s door, opens it without waiting for an answer. Robb is in his bed, his hair is messy and he looks worried but he’s breathing alright. His pulse is normal under her small hand on his throat. Robb is less talkative is this life so he just lets her climb in his bed and sleep next to him.

She still sleeps there when she is sixteen and it’s weird. Ned and Cathleen both think so, and Robb does too even though he won’t say it. But by then she remembers everything and she can’t stay in her bedroom alone without getting pains in her whole body.

But then one day Jon, their cousin, knocks on the door and he is crying so much he looks a bit insane. He hugs her dad, hugs her mom, hugs Robb and refuses to let go.

And they have to make room for a third person in her brother’s bed that night.

She thinks she knows but she can’t bring herself to ask Jon what he thinks about, when he stares at her during the whole breakfast the next morning. They were never close and now he strokes her hair as they sit on the couch and watch TV. She puts her head on his lap and holds his hand as he cries again.

 

To his credit, Robb is handling it really well. Most teenagers who would have to deal with two traumatized younger family members wouldn’t. But Robb was always the responsible, kindhearted, loving one, which is why he died. And that’s also why he never stops treating Sansa like a little girl.

Quickly, it’s both him and Jon. They cook food for her, ask if she has bathed yet, dry her hair with the soft towels and buy her new dolls. They don’t make her go outside and convince Ned and Cathleen to let her get homeschooled.

Her parents want to make her see a psychologist, but Jon tells them she doesn’t need it. That it wouldn’t help. Maybe she does, maybe it would, but they both know she can’t say anything. There is no scars between her legs, like there was when winter was the coldest, even if she can still feel the blade digging in her skin.

 

On the day she has her first period Jon is not here, and it’s Robb who has to drag her in the shower as she screams and grabs his arms so hard her nails make dozens of red lines there. Her mom finds them both curled up under the stream of warm water and she actually leaves without saying anything, this time.

It looks like their parents really won’t remember. Maybe, somewhere in their soul, they know learning what happened to their children would send them to the next life over and over. They couldn’t handle it, and they want to live.

That’s understandable.

At least Bran, Rickon and Arya don’t know either. They stumble through life like the three of them haven’t drown in their own blood at young ages. Sansa is so thankful for that.

 

Sadly, she can’t say the same for Robb. She had wished. And she’ll always feel guilty for having triggered him so much over the years. One night she hears him struggle to breath and when she turns the light on he’s holding his neck with both hands and turning awfully white. She doesn’t remember dying very vividly, so she calls Jon and puts him on speaker so he can tell her brother to listen to his own heartbeat, and to remember he’s alive, he’s alive.

He’s alive.

 

Robb is the one who asks all the questions. Even then, he helps the most. They finally have to put words on what they’ve been through. Over the next five years, it becomes somewhat admissible. One day as they eat mac n’ cheese in Jon’s bedroom over at Lyanna and Rhaegar’s place, she tells them exactly what happened.   
She expected to throw up but she doesn’t. It feels right to say Ramsay’s name, here in a time and place where he can’t reach her. Because Ramsay had no soul and therefore he can’t come back, as Jon said.

 

Eventually it becomes too difficult to look at her parents sad and utterly lost faces and she has to move out. She moves in Jon’s home because his new parents work abroad and they’re almost never there anyway. Robb follows her of course, he wouldn’t leave her out of his sight, not when he never brought her home back then.

It’s confortable. To live with her brother and her cousin. Is she hadn’t recovered her memories she would have utterly hated it and now she can barely stand it when someone is in the house.   
She thinks it’s always going to be the three of them, and she’ll stay inside hidden, safe, and useless, as it was her dream back then. But Robb starts making researches, and finds the one person she would travel around the world to see.

 

Luckily the psychiatric hospital is not that far. She expects Theon to remember everything, but he doesn’t recognizes them and keeps muttering ‘’Reek, my name is reek’’ so it seems he doesn’t even remember himself. It’s a messy process to be able to bring him home, but Theon didn’t get more lucky with his family this time and there is no one to oppose their kidnapping.

 

She can't stand to watch him scream and beg when they put him in the bathtub, so she has to wait outside while Jon and Robb wash him. She hears her brother whisper ‘’It’s okay, it’s okay I forgive you, you’re not filthy so let me clean you up please.’’ And she falls on the ground and sobs for hours.

They dress him in Jon’s pyjamas and bring him in Robb’s bed. At this point Theon has gone completely pliant, and he lets them lie down with him and caress his hair and back until he falls asleep.

 

A few years later, she can actually sleep alone. Although she won’t ever lie with another man than her family members and Theon, she’s happy with feeling safe and strong.

They have opened a bookstore, and it’s very nice. The quietness and stillness of the place makes it possible for Theon to help out, which therefore makes it possible for Robb to spend a lot of time there.

Jon is studying psychology, in a effort to help all of them out without revealing the whole resurrection thing. Plus, there must be other people who remember their past lives he could help, maybe even people they know.

Jon is so kind, no matter what they did to him in his past life.

 

It makes her kind off jealous. That she lost her innocence and naiveness so easily, but Robb and Jon’s integrity and gentleness is so entrenched in them that all the trahison and damage they suffered left them almost unchanged. But she know Theon and her could survive only by holding on to their warmth. It’s like they’ve been brought back to heal, and to be healed, different purposes but an unbreakable link.

 

She feels bad for it, but she’s actually happy to have someone who not only understands her trauma, but is also even more broken than her. Both Sansa and Theon follow Robb and Jon everywhere. But she doesn’t grab Robb’s shirt or wrist like she needs reassurance that he’s still there. She doesn’t need to be washed and fed like an infant. She doesn’t start crying whenever someone mentions Ned.

It feels like Theon never died, like he kept on living forever carrying so much guilt and self-hatred that he’ll probably need a hundred lives with them to get better.

But they don’t know if that’s not possible, so why not try it.


End file.
